I had a near fatal encounter this weekend with a yellow striped viper, one of the rarest but deadliest snakes known to mankind. I was just walking around LAX airport, minding my own business, when I spotted one out of the corner of my eye. I immediately gasped and cried, "my golly, that's a yellow striped viper if I do say so myself!" I don't know why I added the "if I do say so myself" part, but sometimes you say silly things under unusual circumstances, and come on, if you just saw a yellow striped viper, I bet you'd say the exact same thing.

I knew it was a yellow striped viper because of its two distinctive yellow stripes, one on its back and one on its side. If it only has one yellow stripe, whether on its back or its side, then it's actually just a yellow striped earthworm and quite harmless. But no, this one had both! And vibrant ones at that (which means all the more poisonous). So, of course, the proper thing to do when you see a yellow striped viper and have confirmed that it's not just a yellow striped earthworm (in which case, the proper thing to do would be to take it home as a pet) is to run, and by run I mean sprint like a rhino with gas.

And so I was just about scoot my heinee out of there when I stopped, because I realized I had my camera around my neck. It was then that I thought to myself, wouldn't it be great if I could get a picture of this diabolical amphibian? And wouldn't it be my duty as a proud member of deviantART to risk my life in order share this rare find with the community? And finally, wouldn't it be cool if President Bush wore a tupee? Yes, yes, and definitely YES! And at that very moment, I knew running was no longer an option; instead, I summoned up all my courage and crept up from behind it, by its tail, which is always red. Its head, by comparison, is always yellow. You never want to creep up on its head, because then you're not really "creeping up" on it so much as you're "serving it dinner."

Well, I got as close to it as possible, and then that's when I tripped over a banana peel. Sensing motion, the giant creature immediately reared its ugly head towards me. It was too late to run, too late to hide. But just as I braced myself for the worst, a miracle happened. A woman in a bright green vest started walking out, and she started to calm the vicious beast. It was then clear to me that she was part of the YSVP, Yellow Striped Viper Police force, especially trained to deal with these ferocious creatures. After doing her job by taming the beast, she made sure I was ok and then gave me a lollipop. Having regained my safety, I took this shot of both her and the controlled viper. Consider yourself lucky to see this shot, but consider me even more lucky to live to see tomorrow